Domestic violence: Try Jesus, Not Him!

    Boys are not just the most common perpetrators of violence, but also the most common victims. According to studies, boys are beaten more than girls during childhood, and as a result, they grow up believing that men are violent. “The proportion of deaths that are due to non-medical reasons (accidents, violence, poisoning, homicides, or suicides) is higher among men (12%) than women (8%). This peaks at ages 15-29 years for both men and women, reaching a high of half of all deaths for men of age 20-29 years,”(Ganesh). This quote contributes to the fact that there is a line of communication cut regarding the treatment of boys/men in violent cases. Domestic violence is synonymous with women; I wonder how men deal domestic violence and how often this abuse is reported to the authorities? 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXIobMW9c7s)

To start off, statistics play a major role in deciphering whether a statement is considered true or false. Such research exposes the astonishing truth that domestic violence is not only associated with women but, in a greater number, with men also. According to a study conducted by the Ministry of Women and Child Development (MWCD), India, in 2007: 54.68% of children who were physically abused (by beating or other forms of physical violence) were boys, 52.91% of children who experienced physical abuse in their family environment were boys; in most cases, by their parents, And 65.99% of boys living on the street reported being physically abused by their family members and other people (Ganesh). 

As a result of domestic violence towards men, it created an impact not only on that one individual but as a culture. Domestic violence makes facing or dealing with the circumstance difficult for him. The sense of powerlessness may become a recurring one, leading to low self-esteem and melancholy. The impact occurring commonly is the increase of  his chances of becoming addicted to alcohol or smoking. Especially in black culture, men tend to cope with their feelings and hardship with temporary resistance to that particular pain their feeling because of a certain situation. Furthermore, major mental health concerns like sadness or anxiety, as well as physical health issues like heart disease and respiratory problems, may arise (Ganesh). 

Ilarge.lisimg.com. 2022. [online] Available at: <https://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/22568584/740full-chris-brown.jpg> [Accessed 24 April 2022].

Men's socialization is still governed by traditional gender conventions. Men are taught to be tough and to suppress their emotions from a young age. They are told to "suck it up" and "be a man" when faced with adversity (Murphy). These notions make it impossible for males to think of themselves as victims. It is frequently more difficult for individuals to seek help because of their denial or unwillingness to identify their own victimization. Finally, traditional conceptions of masculinity play a role in the underreporting of domestic abuse against male victims. When males finally seek treatment, their experiences are typically discounted or rejected, according to qualified Toronto Criminal Lawyers at Pyzer Criminal Law Firm. They are typically teased or ridiculed for failing to suit standard conceptions of masculinity, which adds to the stigma (Murphy). 

To conclude, men are neglected in terms of counseling, crisis centers, victim services, and domestic violence shelters. All of which contribute to men's rising aversion to reporting their experiences. Men are not a punching bag and no longer will we allow men to be. Women who think they are and won’t be met with any consequences on any given point, try Jesus, not him. 

Works Cited 

Ganesh, Lalithashree. "When Men Are Victims of Violence." White Swan Foundation, 10 July 2018, www.whiteswanfoundation.org/amp/story/gender/men/when-men-are-victims-of-violence. 

Murphy, Declan. "How Often Are Men Victims of Domestic Violence?" Attorney at Law Magazine, 19 Feb. 2020, attorneyatlawmagazine.com/how-often-are-men-victims-of-domestic-violence/amp. 

 

      I've always thought of myself as a strong writer. I seemed to have a natural ability to properly communicate my ideas and feelings through words and expressions. However, it wasn't until my writing course drove my ideas and sentiments on writing to the brink of breaking point that I realized how much my writing was lacking. This explanatory essay made me must think and be passionate about the topic choice I stood on. Also, it made me ask myself, am I as passionate about one topic enough to where I can compress all my thoughts and incorporate research into only two pages. Researching my topic was challenging because I could not decipher which website sources were good enough to break down into my essay. Some articles were too short to where there was no way I was going to be able to grasp four to five quotes or supporting details. Many articles went on to say the same words repeatedly, making it difficult to grasp information to support my topic.

      For me, figuring out the best approach to organize my time was a major challenge. I've always been a slacker. However, after the first day of class, I understood I'd have to change how I think about homework and how I approach it. I couldn’t totally break my procrastination habit from high school, but I did gain some valuable time management skills. I also learned how writing without the pressure of a deadline could lead to new idea

Boys are not just the most common perpetrators of violence, but also the most common victims. According to studies, boys are beaten more than girls during childhood, and as a result, they grow up believing that men are violent. “The proportion of deaths that are due to non-medical reasons (accidents, violence, poisoning, homicides, or suicides) is higher among men (12%) than women (8%). This peaks at ages 15-29 years for both men and women, reaching a high of half of all deaths for men of age 20-29 years,” (Ganesh). This quote contributes to the fact that there is a line of communication cut regarding the treatment of boys/men in violent cases. Americans tend to believe that domestic violence is synonymous with women. However, women are the suspects behind closed doors. For that reason alone, I believe men can hit women back.

Wallpapercave.com. 2022. [online] Available at: <https://wallpapercave.com/wp/wp4442029.jpg> [Accessed 24 April 2022].

Ultimately, what is at stake here is women are viewed as weaker than men, so attacking them in any way is frowned upon. The only reason males punching a woman back is frowned upon is because it demonstrates misogyny in their view that women are weaker. Breaking news: some women are stronger than others. If a woman initiates a fight with a man by kicking and punching him and expects no response, she is a dumb woman; if they choose to fight a man, they should expect to be fought back like a man. Are we living in a world where one gender may easily beat the other with no repercussions? No one would criticize a man starting a fight with a woman and the woman fighting back, so why is it condemned the other way around? These conflicting standards simply serve to widen the gap between rich and poor. Men should have the same right to protect themselves against a female aggressor as they would against a male aggressor, and vice versa. If a woman was to begin to physically assault my brother or any male I care about, I would want them to treat her the same way they would any man!

My discussion of men being allowed to hit women back is in fact addressing the larger matter of some women who are physically weaker still assault men because they believe they won't hit back. It would then come down to a woman’s boldness to strike a man other than the fact that men are not allowed to show any counts of violence towards a woman. ”Men’s socialization is still governed by traditional gender conventions. Men are taught to be tough and to suppress their emotions from a young age. They are told to "suck it up" and "be a man" when faced with adversity” (Murphy). Men are always the ones who must put up with things. Why can't the situation be reversed? It is ludicrous to have men suck up to any form of abuse from women because they are perceived as inferior. Women should not be able to freely place their hands on a male in the first place. “According to the findings, the help-seeking process for male PV victims is complex and heterogeneous, and it frequently leads to extra negative repercussions as a result of structural, cultural, social, and organizational variables” (PMC). So, how do these impediments affect the success of male victims. Male victims of domestic abuse remain mute and do not report instances to authorities because they believe it is a personal concern that they can handle themselves. It seems as a lose-lose situation as males defending themselves is frowned upon and going to authorities is a cut to their ego.

Ilarge.lisimg.com. 2022. [online] Available at: <https://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/22568584/740full-chris-brown.jpg> [Accessed 24 April 2022].

Although domestic violence towards men may seem of concern only to a small group of female individuals, it should in fact concern anyone who cares about male safety in general. According to the author, Physical abuse is described as "the intentional use of bodily force with the potential for causing death, disability, injury, or harm" and involves repeated actions that cause physical hurt and pain to the victim (University of SC). This implies that any woman who hits a man is doing so on purpose. meaning done on purpose So, if they purposefully permitted themselves to channel aggression energy at any guy, they should not be surprised if they face retaliation in the form of self-defense. If someone is being assaulted, regardless of gender, they should be able to retaliate in self-defense without fear of being judged. For example, if a female and a guy get into a dispute and one of them makes the situation physical, I feel one of them has the right to attack in self-defense if the other cannot restrain them. Both men and women should use self-defense. In the event when a woman strikes a man, I believe the male has the right to self-defense and should be permitted to employ it. Men are physically assaulted by women, and women are physically mistreated by men, so if a man and a woman fight, both should utilize self-defense.

Some might argue that unless the women have a weapon or is going to kill him or multiple women attack the guy, it's not okay. No one should hit anyone, but men are stronger than women and shouldn't hit them back. ” Men who commit domestic violence may be found among a larger pool of men with poor problem-solving skills, but in addition they appear to have borderline-antisocial personality traits, certain types of hostility, and histories of abuse as children that may predispose them to become violent with their female companions” (Else et al). I disagree with this assertion; demonstrating retaliation in the form of violence in response to domestic violence is not a sign of poor problem-solving abilities. It's more of a desperation technique. People who disagree with the fact that men should not be allowed to protect themselves when it comes to women. Who are you to imply that because you're a male, you should just take it or walk away instead of fighting back, which is a reaction to an action? Would you say something like that to a woman about a man? Others suggest that I think that as a man, you would really have to be mentally ill or crazy to ever raise your arm and hit a woman and that there really is nothing to be gained by doing so, and everything to be lost. Although there is nothing to be gained from physically attacking a woman there is also nothing being gained on the woman’s side. When defending oneself against a girl, one does gain something, if just their dignity. Allowing a woman to put her hands on men with the understanding that they would gain nothing by hitting her back is akin to stating men are just punching bags. Why don't we tell women to put their hands in their pockets? Why aren't we holding women who put their hands on men accountable instead of ensuring that guys don't react to what they're doing in a socially acceptable manner?

Domestic violence is often associated with women in the United States. Women, on the other hand, are the suspects behind closed doors. For that reason, I believe men are capable of retaliating against women. If a guy is assaulted by a woman, he should react in the same way he would a violent male. It is nonsensical to believe that a violent woman should be handled kindlier than a violent guy. Any sensible and objective lady, I believe, would agree. There is evidence that women are more violent than men, and one of the reasons for this is because women often believe they will get away with it, or that the consequences would be less severe than for a man, and that being a woman is an excuse or a mitigating factor. Making a differentiation between a violent woman and a violent guy has no basis. A violent man should expect major consequences as a result of his actions. A violent woman should be prepared for the same.

 

 

Work cited

Ganesh, Lalithashree. "When Men Are Victims of Violence." White Swan Foundation, 10 July 2018, www.whiteswanfoundation.org/amp/story/gender/men/when-men-are-victims-of-violence.

Murphy, Declan. "How Often Are Men Victims of Domestic Violence?" Attorney at Law Magazine, 19 Feb. 2020, attorneyatlawmagazine.com/how-often-are-men-victims-of-domestic-violence/amp.

"Male Victims of Female-Perpetrated Partner Violence: A Qualitative Analysis of Men’s Experiences, the Impact of Violence, and Perceptions of Their Worth." PubMed Central (PMC), www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8336931/.

"The Victimization of Heterosexual Males - Office of the Vice President for Research | University of South Carolina." University of South Carolina, sc.edu/about/offices_and_divisions/research/news_and_pubs/caravel/archive/2018/2018-domestic-abuse.php.

Else, L., Wonderlich, S., Beatty, W., Christie, D. and Staton, R., 2022. Personality Characteristics of Men Who Physically Abuse Women.

                Completing the last and final essay of the semester was enjoyable, I cannot even lie. Writing about a topic that I hold true to my heart helped me understand why I feel this way about this certain topic. Although it was enjoying writing, I was still met with some challenges. Turning my research question into a claim was time consuming for me because what I was trying to depict did not show in the claim I was trying to create. What did help in my time of need was Seals PowerPoints. Reviewing the sample essay paper showed a guide to try to figure out how to out in words what I was specifically trying to say. Other things that helped I would say is my peers. They reviewed my work and left helpful comments about what could be changed, and which words sound better than one another.

                The most important part of the writing process is the outline. The outline lines up everything you are thinking that could go into your essay into a strategically, clean formatted way. Without the outline you are making it harder on yourself when you are supposed to work smarter not harder. The outline is really creating your essay already to the point where all you must do now is add some sentences that connect you’re the points that you written down and include some personal thought and work citations. With this you cannot go wrong in completing your essay.